Tinder

What are you looking for?

When you check a profile of some woman and the ONLY text they have is something like "don't ask me what I am looking for, I am SOOOO tired being asked that question" and then you look at the profile for that info and there is no info about what she is looking for? No "looking for long term relationship", no text about "just wanting to fuck", nothing.

Then you know: She just wants to face-fuck. Meaning: If you have a face she likes, she wants to fuck you. Once. She does not want a short term relationship, she does not want a long term relationship, she is not looking for a friend, she just wants to fuck you once.

So if you are looking for a slut, congratulations, you found one!

Both feet on the ground

If you read the requirement to have both feet on the ground (German: "mit beiden Füßen im Leben stehen") then you should avoid her. At least if you want to have sensible intelligent conversations with your date.

"Both feet on the ground" is of course a metaphor. So what is this metaphor about? If you google it, it tells you stuff like "understanding society", "being active", "being grounded", "not being a coach potato" and a hundred other definitions. Which are all stupid. And wrong.

If you explicitly use a metaphor with two legs then there should be two things you have completely and secure. Which might that be? I am neither a philosopher nor a super knowledgeable person, so I think simple thoughts.

These two things HAVE to be your personal life and your business life. So you are expected to have a reliable fixed relationship with a partner and you are expected to have a good income from your job, perhaps a long term employment or something like that.

That is the ONLY definition of "both feet on the ground" that makes sense. In my opinion. I highly value my opinion! ;-)

So, a woman is telling you, if you want a relationship of any kind with her, then you have to have a permanent partner and a good permanent income.

Why would she ask for something like that? There is only one reason for such a combination to be wanted: She wants to blackmail you.

If you have no partner, you can't be blackmailed and if you have no money there is no reason to blackmail you.

This, is of course totally stupid. So, the woman who ask for someone to "have both feet on the ground" don't want to blackmail you. I hope. They are just too stupid to even think about the words they write down. Avoid them. Only if you want a stupid person for a date or are looking for someone you can hoodwink easily, then you found a good mark.

Deep Talk

There are woman who only value "deep talks". NO small talk. Or at least they want you to be able to do "deep talk".

You have to understand that "deep talk" is only possible about things you do not 100% understand. If you talk to someone about something he has knowledge of 20 years about, then you can only have a "deep talk" about that if you too have knowledge of 20 years about it. Otherwise it will be small talk for one of you and deep talk for the other one.

I mean... how can you do "deep talk" about something you think is easy? How can you have a "small talk" about something you are struggling to understand?

So... these "deep talk" girls want to talk to you about subjects they don't understand and they need you to not understand these subjects too.

But they do not tell you which subjects these are, so you have to either lie to them or just recognize them for the dumb stupids they are and avoid them.

Again, if you are looking for a mark, go for it, you found one!

Open minded

"She is open minded". OHHH!! Incredible! Marvelous!

But.. what does it mean? She is ok with the burning of witches because that is just how some people want to life their lives?

To kill homosexuals with throwing of stones or throwing them down from high buildings is ok for an open minded person, right? You can't tell others what to do or what to like. You have to tolerate them! Right?

So, WTF is the meaning of "I am open minded"? You stupid fuck!

Knows what he wants

Many woman seem to want a man "who knows what he wants".

Yeah. Let THAT sentence go through your mind for some seconds. Think about it.

So... I want to be lazy. (I do!) That ok? I want to be a sadist? Ok? Or a masochist? Or I don't want to have sex with you because I think woman are a lower life form and not worthy to be touched by a REAL MAN? All ok?

Or do mean that other thing? That really disgusting thing? You want a REAL man to just take you in his arms and kiss you or throw you down and fuck you, even if you did not tell him to do it? Because a REAL man knows what he wants? Just.. if it is Tuesday, you want a different behavior and so you just sue him for sexual abuse and/or rape? THAT is what you want? Having the ability to sue the other person?

No? Still not what you mean? Then WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT? TELL US! WE ARE NO FUCKING MIND READERS! FUCK YOU BTW!

Short/Long term relationship

I am not sure what to think about this whole thing.

I mean, I am happy and thankful Tinder added these options (and others) so the profiles are incredible more helpful to decide if that person seems interesting.

One thing comes to mind if I read these terms: A girl said, she is currently looking for some fun because she just came out of a long term relationship. Ok. Sounds ok. Until you look at her age. She is 18 years old. So... wtf is a long term relationship in her thinking? Everything which is not a one-night-stand? At least two weeks? More than two months? I have no idea. Really NO idea.

So, how do different people define "short range relationship" and "long range relationship"?

For me, it is something like:

no relationship

less than a month

short-term relationship

1-24 month(s)

long-term relationship

>24 months

But it seems that different people see that differently. So, if a woman is looking for long-term relationship, is she looking for something for the next two months? I don't know. Do you?

you have to be over your last relationship

Sometimes you see stupid stuff like "you have to be over your last relationship". I mean... like... really?

I was 12 years together with my last girl friend / wife and if you ask me if I am "over" her, then "no". I am not. Of course not. That are 12 fucking years. 12! Do you think you are so great I forget the last 12 years just by looking at you? Nope, you are not. You are so stupid, I have to tell you this verbally. Too bad.

There are two options to be "over a relationship/ex":

1. You have a new partner, value her/him and she/he is so important, that any exes are totally irrelevant
2. You are an asshole, you never valued your partner, so it is easy to be "over your ex"

So... in my opinion, every woman that asks me to be "over my ex" before I get into a relationship with her is implicitly telling me she is looking for an asshole who does not value his "partner" as friend. So, she is telling me she is either stupid or has really bad taste and I am looking for neither.

short term / wants children

There are many, many combinations that make no sense and a lot of stuff that is plain stupid but this is the one I always laugh when I see it. She is looking for a "short term relationship" AND "she wants children". So... Think about it. Yes, you may laugh. It is totally ok. And yes, we all think that that person is really not someone you want a long term relationship with. But it is ok. Just laugh and match with her. Just keep her profile in mind. Only if you prefer stupids as long term partners can you forget about her profile. But luckily, she only wants a short term relationship.

People who write stuff like beer>wine are of course stupid. If you filter your potential partners because of the fluids they prefer, you are stupid.

Stuff like Sea>Mountains makes sense if you really want to go to only one type of region for your holidays. It even tells people who go traveling nearly each weekend and who do many different things to keep away from you, otherwise you would be whining about there being no sea when you visit Switzerland or Tibet. That is a good filter to keep people like you away.

I just don't get many of these woman.

There are the ones who look for a short-term relationship or the ones who do not tell us what they want - so they want to face-fuck, right? - and then these woman tell us about their pets and children and children they want and some even have real profile texts and tell us a lot of things which are totally irrelevant if you don't want a long term relationship.

Then there are the others. They WANT a long term relationship. One picture. Age. Distance. That's it. I mean, YES OF COURSE I WANT TO HAVE THAT PERSON AS PARTNER FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!! I don't know fuck about her but she expects me to have interest in her? For a long term relationship? She neither tells me where she lives, nor if she has/wants children? Nothing? Are these woman so stupid? Or arrogant? "My face is the face of a goddess, come and worship me!" or something like that? I guess they are just stupid. Or they are these who think "long term relationship" is anything not an one-night-stand, so they want to fuck you for two weeks before they meet with other tinder matches that they created during your "relationship".

Write after match within x hours

So, there are woman who will NOT write first after a match and want you to write to them within x (2-8) hours after a match or they will unmatch you. Their reasoning is: (high voice) "I don't want to be of use for a match collector!".

What I read is: A woman I don't know yet has a match with me which I don't know yet too and she wants to command me how often I have to open Tinder. WTF? Who do you think you are? You are trying to force me to open Tinder in certain intervals or I will lose your match? I can only say: "HA HA HA!". This is a self activating filter for persons like you.

Btw, I would only like a profile with a text like that if I made an error or if the woman looks incredible gorgeous.